The need to be loved and the zest to be nurtured is ubiquitous; the inherent desire to feel accepted by someone is what drives a human being…we want to scale up the heights because it showers admiration…as a child when we used to score up highest marks, more than the highest marks, the love showed by our parents was the source of encouragement…Have you ever realized why do we post any update on facebook? The alluring force is admiration…we need acceptance and approbation just to boost up our self-esteem…like they say sugar is needed …but in excess causes diabetes…the same principle works here… when this feeling of self admiration goes beyond its normal extent…somewhere we are heading our way towards Narcissism!!
So what is Narcissism?
Narcissism is characterised by an inflated sense of self-admiration. mostly seen in men…a confluence of genetic and enviornmental factors can be the reason behind this personality disorder…
So why is it consider a disorder?
Narcissists are witty, humorous; charming and exceptionally amazing personality good enough to sweep you off your feet at the first meeting itself…however there is a hitch…the bad news is the emotional abuse that follows!! Total lack emotional empathy brings to point where you feel being left out even though you may be in a relationship…their fragile ego pushes them to go for manipulation of the facts to any extent they can!!…it doesn’t matter if they have to lie to you just to portray something they are not even close to…they are deadly combo of being pretentious and perfectionist…they need the best of the best possible life partner not for them but to show it to the world…when it comes to flaws, it is all yours…they don’t belong there!!!
Signs that you may be with a Narcissist personality:
1. They are amazing in their first meeting or till the moment they make you believe that you are the one for them!…They may make you meet their family and friends just to prove how much they are into a relationship…and once they know you are trapped, they might show you a cold shoulder…that certainly baffles and you are after them…what went wrong? What was your fault? This generates them the feel of self-importance…and it’s very possible you are not the only one…there may be more than one “YOU”!! Boosting their ego…
2. They are jealous– literally…they are jealous !!…of almost every one out there, who can be there potential competitor… even jealous of your girl-friends leave the guy friends apart!!
3. They will isolate you… Definitely the RED FLAG!!…they will make you feel how much they love you and they are the ones who can do anything to be with you!! The restriction follows…they will have problem with your friends…they will have problem with you spending time with them…for them they aren’t worthy!! Gradually they would isolate you from everyone…
4. They live in a world of insecurity …life is all about how much they are important and how lucky you are to have them in your life…my best friend jasmine met a guy who had told her that if I like you…you can just imagine how wonderful you are!!!
She felt uncomfortable and so was I…should it be the other way round …you are so wonderful person…and I like/love you!!
5. They are always right– No matter how things goes…the fault is all yours…they make you believe because of you they are in trouble…you are the one who don’t care!!…and ironically you are the one who believes they are true…
6. They just want everything perfect…and are best in complaining…. everything you do!!…be it your dressing or the way you walk…or the purse you hold…or the shoes you wear! With my friend Jasmine…this guy used to tell her how she should carry herself with some attitude…this type of cloths doesn’t match her standards…she should have maintained!!…she felt he may be right…may be her cloths and bags are non-branded…she should buy some better stuff…subsequently she went on shopping…later the guy complained you do so much shopping for yourself…Did it ever occur to you to buy something for me?…you are so self centered… you never made me feel special!!… she was distressed to an extent that needed intervention…you can never please them…they will always come up with one fault or the other!!
7. World is them and they are the center of world- for them everything revolves round them…world is all about what they like and what they don’t…you have no option but to follow and be there to boost up the ego!
Nobody is kinder than the Narcissist, while you react to life in his own terms!!- Elizabeth Bowen
8.They can’t take up criticism…they live in their rarified bubble where they all surround themselves with people who praise them…
9. They lack emotional empathy- they will never understand what you are through…emotionally or physically…that doesn’t seem to be affected by your turmoil…
Be in relation which makes you feel worthy of what you are …not worthless for what you are not!!
stay tuned for more updates…www.invigoratinglife.com…lots of love!!